Brainwash be gone. A podcast for women who've left a high control, high demand religion. In every episode, we deconstruct one specific rule you were taught so you can let go of the harmful conditioning and live an amazing life on your own terms. Today we'll be talking about.

We are the one true religion. Wow. So this is such a bold and specific claim, and there's actually so little supporting evidence even put forth by high demand religions. When we think about this critically. So listen to the end of this episode if you wanna see clearly how this rule is often employed to gain psychological control over people in high control religions, and how you can let go of this rule for yourself, see it for what it is, and choose your own best path in life.

Whether for you that involves another spiritual path or none at all. It's totally your choice.

There's a concept in critical analysis that says, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. So if you're going to make any kind of claim about something that just seems unlikely to be true, you have to be the one to back it up with a lot, you know, to prove that it's true. If you're going to claim that, and I think this.

Idea of we are the one true religion, which many religions claim is absolutely in the category of an extraordinary claim. Because if you think about it, a group that's claiming that is saying, first of all, definitively, both that they have truth and that they're certain that no other group on earth has any part of the truth.

So that's pretty wild and that's pretty bold.

And it's often stated like it's just understood. It's a fact. We are the one true religion, but what evidence is ever put forward by these groups for that claim? I know that we are all from different groups. Several of us have left different high demand religions.

But I thought through the main groups that much of our audience is from, and also just other groups I'm familiar with, and I made a list of the types of ways that this is typically explained, if at all. But the first way is often by saying, well, we're the one true religion because our Holy Book says so.

You know, whatever your holy scriptures are. They say that we're the one true religion or they say something that we interpret to mean that we are the one true religion. And of course, this is the worst evidence ever because the logic is totally circular. To say that it's true because you said so is obviously no evidence at all.

And because of the internet and contact with other cultures, we now know that there exists lots of different types of holy scriptures that say opposite things and claim that other religions are the one true religion.

Some other groups will say things like, well, we are the one true religion because we descended directly from, whatever group or teacher. And we never split off like these other groups. So we are the one true religion because we are still. The guardians of this truth that we've been safe keeping since our original founder.

There are some, for example, Catholics that will say this because they consider themselves the direct line back to Jesus instead of any Protestant sect that split off along the way. But if you think about it, that doesn't actually prove anything because continuing a tradition for a long time doesn't prove anything about whether it was correct to begin with.

And ironically, of course there are groups that, don't connect themselves in a direct line back to a particular group. And then the other groups who split off from whatever the original teaching was.

And of course there's the fact that those groups originally sprang into being at a moment in time and rejected the prior wisdom. And there's no explanation of why that needed to be or what the rationale was for that. And then other groups who did split off in the recent past will say, well, that's because we have the most recent revelation from God, which supersedes all prior revelations or prophets.

But again. No explanation of why we know for sure that this is true to support this very bold claim that we are the one truth that's available. And then of course there are groups that. In addition to their other rationale or sometimes as the sole basis of the rationale, say, well, I know it's the one true religion because of my personal experience or my personal revelations, my personal interaction with God or gut feelings that I have, that this is the one true religion

and while I could understand someone making a decision. For their own best interest based on that. Because of course your own experience and preferences should be the basis of whatever you decide. But that's very different from saying it's right for everyone in the world and the best option for everyone in the world, just because I have a personal experience of it for me.

And then of course, there's the problematic. Fact that when people have this personal experience of their religion or gut feelings, that a particular religion is the best one. It's almost always the one that they were raised with or that was part of their overall culture. Like if they were raised in the United States, maybe their family wasn't religious, but they have a gut feeling that Christianity is true because it's so embedded in the general culture.

And then other people from other cultures around the world are having a similar experience where their gut instinct is that Islam is true, or that Hinduism is true, or whatever is their dominant culture. So that doesn't. Prove anything from a general sense about something being the one true religion.

And I wanna point out it is very different from a critical thinking perspective to say this is the one true religion, versus saying, Hey, this particular path is a path that works for me and seems to be a good framework for living my life. And other people might find different frameworks or structures that work for them and they can do what they wanna do.

Those are very different logically to claim that this is a framework or truth that works for you versus this is the only, the only and best one. And not all religions actually believe the rule. We are the one true religion. Although I do think it's true for most, if not all, high demand religions, and that's because it does seem to be such a critical piece of the puzzle in terms of how to psychologically dominate and entrap your members and to try to prevent them from leaving.

So there are religions out there that actually believe their path is one. Of many valid paths to finding truth and they don't claim it's the only path. There's a famous saying that's actually attributed to different religions around the world. It's so funny that no one even knows where this started, but there's a saying, there are many paths up the same mountain.

As like a metaphor for if climbing a mountain is human spiritual experience or personal development. Then some of these different religions or practices or even martial arts, you know, or philosophical paths that they could all lead different people to basically go to the same destination, but in different ways.

Certainly just because a religion that we came from had that perspective does not mean all religions do. So that just leads us to question, what are the unstated motives behind teaching? Emphatically teaching? We are the one true religion, and I think it shows that the unstated motives are honestly more sinister than the, you know, the stated reason.

It certainly endows a particular religion with ultimate authority over. Your life and your personal judgment, and they're doing that under the cover of a divine mandate. Because we're the one true religion, everything we say has to be true, and we have the right to take control over your life and everything about you and what you do and how you live under this premise, questioning or dissent becomes very threatening because now you're confronting the only and ultimate truth.

Which is, allegedly dangerous to your soul. Rather than just saying, yeah, I've got some questions. I'm exercising my personal free will to do what makes the most sense for me in my life. Then you're like confronting the truth of the universe and any question or dissent or conflict within the group about theological matters becomes.

Very high stakes, very confrontational, very threatening to the community overall.

Believing that you're the one true religion also creates a very strong US versus them framework and fear of outsiders, people from other groups, fear of new ideas because everything has been preemptively determined to be invalid or straight up evil before it was even considered. So there's just a real hostility that can develop.

To other cultures, to other people, to new ways of thinking and to change in general, even in non-religious, areas of life because there's such a strong, insularity of thinking when you believe you're the one true whatever.

And of course, there's a serious impact to. The people who live in a community with this kind of rule, besides the questioning, which we mentioned that you, can't dissent because you would be arguing with the one truth. A lot of times, those of us who've lived in this internalized really a sense of almost spiritual fragility.

Like, oh my gosh. If I push back at all, if I leave, you know, then I'll be totally lost. Then I'm totally betraying God. Then there's just such an extreme reaction to normal questioning. For some people, it delays them leaving abusive environments, whether that's their actual church or church leaders or their family relationships that may not be healthy

because they feel like leaving the structure in any way would be going against the religion or because they perceive any external help, like therapists or law enforcement to be spiritually inferior or even dangerous. Potentially, it can cause ruptures in families. When one member doubts the rule and the fact that there's this exclusivity often encourages.

Community members to shun people or emotionally distance from other people, or to pressure the doubter to come back to the religion.

And the impact even spills out into regular civic life outside of religion because it tends to discourage, media literacy being informed about what happens in the world. It can undermine trust in other communities or. Basically fuel discrimination against people with other beliefs that would be part of your community.

So there are several logical fallacies that show up with this type of rule and how it's enforced in a group. First of all, circular reasoning. You know, saying we are the one true religion because our scriptures say so, and our scriptures are true because our religion says so.

It's like that is. Completely illogical. Whether you choose to believe it or not, that's not a logical basis for it. , There's also the false dichotomy, which implies there are really only two options for people. Either they're with us and they have the one true religion, or they're just totally spiritually ruined and lost souls, which of course is absurd and there are so many shades of experience and possibilities for humans to have in this world and to choose their own path that are just completely ignored by this premise.

And then, you know, there's a concept called confirmation bias that fills in the gaps here, where if you believe this, then any positive experience you have with a group tends to be considered proof that you know this is true. But then if you have any negative experiences or things go wrong, that tends to be blamed on an individual failure, not on the problems in the system itself, or the possibility that there is any flaw with the truth that a particular group holds or presents.

And we also see some hypocrisy, some inconsistency where groups will say, Hey, we're the one true religion. We're an exclusive insular group. But if you look at it, they actually have absorbed some cultural practices, technologies, holidays. Governmental structures, from other groups that supposedly don't have the one truth and they're claiming to be totally distinct, but they have adopted other things from other people and just basically not, they don't talk about that or talk about how it's possible that a group that they claim is spiritually inferior would have created these other things that could be so valuable to us.

And we don't talk about. Whether we should consider, if there are anything else we should borrow from some of these other groups. And there's just sort of the general community inconsistency where a lot of people in these groups may actually not even believe that they may look at their neighbors more compassionately than the formal doctrine does.

And I always think that's just an interesting sign that something's, not right there.

Now that we have access to so much information and history, we can see that most religions evolve, split off, reinterpret themselves over time, and all of those facts that that has always happened complicates quite a bit. Any claim that any group could possibly have to say, we have an unbroken line of, perfect spiritual truth.

And it's easier to understand in the modern connected world that, we all interpret truth through our culture, our language, our human limitations,

and we can see the violence and chaos that can come from. Believing ourselves to be superior to other groups and trying to enforce that some of the worst tragedies in human history really, which is a terrible impact. So I wanna point out though that there definitely is a huge challenge when we decide that we're ready to move beyond the rule of we're the one true religion.

Because when we say we're the one true religion. There is a false sense of safety and security and certainty there where you don't have to think, you don't have to worry, you don't have to assess new ideas or interact with other people or try to do any critical thinking about what the best path forward is because it's already been predetermined.

And as humans we can sort of get a little bit addicted to that. Pleasant, intoxicating security. If we are not gonna take that path of just predetermining that we are the best and there's no questions to be asked about that, it can be scary and tiring and confusing and there are no quick and easy answers about anything in life.

You know when, when all the options are open, then you have to make choices and really think things through, and that is a drawback and that can feel like a burden that we're taking on, or certainly a challenge that we're taking on when we leave a religion that has served up a bunch of easy answers, and that can feel like a lot, especially early in the process of leaving.

But, I wouldn't change that for a thing. I would grateful and have gratefully taken on that uncertainty because in exchange I recognize that I have the freedom to choose what works best. For me and my community and my family and my children, and that freedom has been the most valuable thing. I wouldn't give it up for anything.

And I think it's important to understand that when we walk away from a very certain and secure belief structure, you don't have to decide right away what your new beliefs are that will replace it. It's okay to say. I don't know. Wow. I think this thing I'm coming from was kind of nuts and I, I reject it.

I can see the flaws in that, but you don't have to jump to, and so now I'm replacing it with this being the absolute truth. It's possible to just exist in the in-between and the uncertainty. And it's probably the most realistic too, to just say, I don't have all the things figured out, and that's okay.

It's totally okay to be in that space.

So I want to conclude with just a few reflections on this topic.

Did your group say that it was the one true religion? And how did they present that to you? Did you believe it? Did some part of you rail against it?

How did believing that rule affect the way you viewed other people outside of the group? Your neighbors, your coworkers, people in your community, your family?

Are there any emotions that come up in you when you think about taking the responsibility for deciding the path yourself? 

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Topics: Religious trauma, spiritual abuse, deconstruction, exmormon, exmo, exvangelical, recovering catholic, excatholic, former jehovah's witness, women's empowerment, feminism, leaving religion, self-worth, high demand religions, high control groups, high control religion, cult, cult recovery, brainwashed, high demand religion, spiritual trauma, church abuse